Fun Traits In A Partner

J

joseph_lubnan

Legendary Member
I never said love was a coup de foudre, I hated my husband 12 years ago when we first met, yet he is truly the love of my life!

And yes that's what love is, it starts with mutual understanding, friendship, then overcoming hardship...

However the right person is never someone that ticks all your boxes, the right person is someone who makes you realise your boxes are incredibly silly! Like for example I wanted someone who would always challenge me on my list, you know what happens with someone who always challenges you? You fight all the bloody time!
That's why they say there is a thin line between love and hate I guess! :)
@Indie go get yourself a stiff whiskey, find a comfortable chair and think back 12 years ago to remember a guy you hated a lot, once you zero in on one, find his number and give him a call :)
 
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  • AtheistForYeezus

    AtheistForYeezus

    Legendary Member
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    Of course not! Physical attraction comes first! It's not something you acquire :p
    Which brings me to my point: Love is not unconditional.

    It's just "natural selection" doing its work, but we try to masquerade it with things like romance and candlelight dinners.
    The healthier and more attractive you are, the more you are successful at finding a partner and reproducing.

    The sinister reason why people fall in love
     
    Isabella

    Isabella

    The queen of "Bazella"
    Orange Room Supporter
    Which brings me to my point: Love is not unconditional.

    It's just "natural selection" doing its work, but we try to masquerade it with things like romance and candlelight dinners.
    The healthier and more attractive you are, the more you are successful at finding a partner and reproducing.

    The sinister reason why people fall in love
    The only unconditional love is a parent's love for their child, and even then some parents never truly love their children.
     
    Apostate

    Apostate

    Your will, my hands.
    Orange Room Supporter
    Dealbreaker for me:
    Racism, homophobia, rude to people... since the way a person treats others tells alot more about this person. If im on a date with someone and she drops any racist/homophobic remark or be rude to a waiter, im leaving her at the spot and going home.
    Being dumb... if you can't have a conversation with someone about important subjects, its such a turn off.
    Too religious... the type of people who wants to impose their religious views on you / later on the kids.

    Traits I look for in a partner:
    Obviously the opposite of the dealbreakers ...
    She should believe in equality between men and women, sharing both rights and duties. And that's extremely important, specially in our community where women preach equality with men, wanting more rights but not wanting to share duties aswell.
    Partner being an atheist is a plus, not mandatory though.
    Educated, honest, kind with people and animals.

    These are just the starter pack, others you would figure out along the way if you get along with a person or not.
     
    Indie

    Indie

    Legendary Member
    Orange Room Supporter
    That's why I don't believe in romantic love.
    There's nothing such as "unconditional love" or "love at first sight".
    We all have a pre-set list of requirements when looking for a partner.
    We want them to be smart, funny, beautiful, and healthy.

    As time runs out, we become less selective and waive some of these rules.
    I've become more selective with time, not less :)

    Most people can't distinguish between "lust" and "love".
    True. That's why I find this kind of list useful. Of course, you will not find anyone who is perfect. But, at least, you won't waste time on people who are too different from what you need in a partner, just because you "fell in love" with them.

    It also helps to read some psychology about relationships, and why people make the decisions they make, which they later regret. You can then avoid those automatic emotional decisions that lead you to the wrong kind of people.
     
    J

    joseph_lubnan

    Legendary Member
    I've become more selective with time, not less :)



    True. That's why I find this kind of list useful. Of course, you will not find anyone who is perfect. But, at least, you won't waste time on people who are too different from what you need in a partner, just because you "fell in love" with them.

    It also helps to read some psychology about relationships, and why people make the decisions they make, which they later regret. You can then avoid those automatic emotional decisions that lead you to the wrong kind of people.
    Ditch that list :) trust me on that :)
     
    J

    joseph_lubnan

    Legendary Member
    Of course not! Physical attraction comes first! It's not something you acquire :p
    True, but unfortunately it is something that may dissipate :) like radioactive decay, with half-life for women being much shorter somehow :) I'm using this example since you're a physicist :) this is the best way to teach highschool boys what half-life is, it gives them hope in a better future lol
     
    !Aoune32

    !Aoune32

    Well-Known Member
    Love is 'nesbe'.
    Each person has a different way and a different idea of who his true perfect partner is. For me my perfect partner is a girl that is attractive, a little wild and one that wants to settle down and have a family. Akide to love me with not buts. One thar her priority becomes her household and those in it not her lost lost cousin in Auckland.
    That is exactly who i fell in love with and married in 2016. 2.5 years later happily married and 2 beautiful children ages 1 and a few months and a 4 month old. Love being a dad and love being a husband.

    I was lucky!
     
    Iron Maiden

    Iron Maiden

    Paragon of Bacon
    Orange Room Supporter
    Which brings me to my point: Love is not unconditional.

    It's just "natural selection" doing its work, but we try to masquerade it with things like romance and candlelight dinners.
    The healthier and more attractive you are, the more you are successful at finding a partner and reproducing.

    The sinister reason why people fall in love
    I cannot contradict you enough, physical attraction is but a fraction of what makes or breaks a relationship.

    She can look like a godess but if shes dumb or unfunny or a vegan i’ll be more than happy to show her the way out. Camaraderie and a shared interrests are as important as physical atraction. Dont get me wrong Boobs are good, but having stupid episodes of laughter are even more important.
     
    Iron Maiden

    Iron Maiden

    Paragon of Bacon
    Orange Room Supporter
    I've become more selective with time, not less :)



    True. That's why I find this kind of list useful. Of course, you will not find anyone who is perfect. But, at least, you won't waste time on people who are too different from what you need in a partner, just because you "fell in love" with them.

    It also helps to read some psychology about relationships, and why people make the decisions they make, which they later regret. You can then avoid those automatic emotional decisions that lead you to the wrong kind of people.
    I have to disagree with you about reading on relationships, each person has his own definition of what is good or bad, so those charlatans selling you their perfect views abt something are a waste of time.

    Wouldnt read the books if if they were free
     
    AtheistForYeezus

    AtheistForYeezus

    Legendary Member
    Orange Room Supporter
    I cannot contradict you enough, physical attraction is but a fraction of what makes or breaks a relationship.

    She can look like a godess but if shes dumb or unfunny or a vegan i’ll be more than happy to show her the way out. Camaraderie and a shared interrests are as important as physical atraction. Dont get me wrong Boobs are good, but having stupid episodes of laughter are even more important.
    Remind me to set you up with this hilarious friend of mine.
    She's smart, witty, and can crack jokes like no other. Only problem is that she's ugly as sin and flat as a board.
     
    Iron Maiden

    Iron Maiden

    Paragon of Bacon
    Orange Room Supporter
    Remind me to set you up with this hilarious friend of mine.
    She's smart, witty, and can crack jokes like no other. Only problem is that she's ugly as sin and flat as a board.
    My gf wouldnt be as excited as me abt the idea :p

    But yea i like curves and i have some friends that like flat, its crazy but hey who am i to judge. Last summer one of them got married to this completly flat chinese girl and till the last day i was teasing him abt missing out on boobs, but for him shes the perfect girl, allah ysem7o :D
     
    Iron Maiden

    Iron Maiden

    Paragon of Bacon
    Orange Room Supporter




    I wouldn't go to church just for that, but if I meet someone there by chance, why not :p



    I meant "show respect towards" not "respect their authority."



    You're right...I am malleable in that department since I can get carried away in work and projects I'm passionate about, as well. But I always make time for the relationship; and if he really wants to, he can make that effort.

    Besides, it is documented that after a certain amount of work per day, you become less productive. So workaholics are just using work as an escape from other responsabilities.



    We need another thread for that :p



    Don't you want an attractive and classy lady with good manners? What are you going to do? Get a butler? :lol:



    Oh...it won't even get close to a point that requires defense. Those ones are out at the first red flag.



    I'm cool with boardgames :p



    :lol:

    Where is Skunk these days?



    Cheaters cheat even if they have what they need at home.



    No, you got it wrong...expecting basic courtesy is needy :p



    It's not so much about jealousy but questioning the meaning of the relationship. If your partner has his or her emotional and affective needs met elsewhere, why are you even in the picture?



    Of course! The problem is that I'm not generous enough to completely disappear as a person and become his slave :p



    Sérieux.



    Well that's a positive spin if there ever was one!

    Mr Needy and Mr insecure need to get their act together for their own sake. Also because they're being annoying.



    :lol:



    He doesn't even need to go to the gym. But he should do some physical activity...even mild things like walking / hiking together or going on bike rides...anything he enjoys as long as he doesn't have a completely sedentary lifestyle.



    Nah...my line of work requires a lot of computer use too. But that does not excuse being in front of a screen 15 hours a day.



    It's tough for women out there, man! :lol:



    My line of work requires travelling too. Travelling together is ok :p

    I just don't want someone who is always away with work.



    I'm allergic to cats :lol::lol::lol:



    I see what you did there!
    Dont worry we’ll get u a russian blue cat, they’re a soecial breed for allergic people :p

    Also they’re cute AF!
     
    Iron Maiden

    Iron Maiden

    Paragon of Bacon
    Orange Room Supporter
    I never said love was a coup de foudre, I hated my husband 12 years ago when we first met, yet he is truly the love of my life!

    And yes that's what love is, it starts with mutual understanding, friendship, then overcoming hardship...

    However the right person is never someone that ticks all your boxes, the right person is someone who makes you realise your boxes are incredibly silly! Like for example I wanted someone who would always challenge me on my list, you know what happens with someone who always challenges you? You fight all the bloody time!
    How can u hate someone than marry them?? Women are so random man i swear..
     
    AtheistForYeezus

    AtheistForYeezus

    Legendary Member
    Orange Room Supporter
    My gf wouldnt be as excited as me abt the idea :p

    But yea i like curves and i have some friends that like flat, its crazy but hey who am i to judge. Last summer one of them got married to this completly flat chinese girl and till the last day i was teasing him abt missing out on boobs, but for him shes the perfect girl, allah ysem7o :D
    Yeah flat can be boring. Hit the gym and work those glutes women
     
    Indie

    Indie

    Legendary Member
    Orange Room Supporter
    I have to disagree with you about reading on relationships, each person has his own definition of what is good or bad, so those charlatans selling you their perfect views abt something are a waste of time.

    Wouldnt read the books if if they were free
    I'm not talking about self-help books but real psychological literature.

    You see people going from one bad relationship to the next, wondering why they always end up with such people...little do they know that the way they were raised, and some past trauma, make them susceptible to feel attracted to, and attract, the same type of people. If they don't figure out their own psychological state, they will subconsciously keep making the same relationship mistakes.
     
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